ducks are not evil

things not duck

oscar the wabbit mission

So, there's this rabbit that's been given the name Oscar. Nice name. Sure, you gotta love it. However. In an effort to choose a name with absolutely no bad connotations whatsoever, seemingly rash statements were made about the purity of all creatures Oscar-like. Such as:

"The worst there is, is Oscar the Grouch." - M1

Did that inspire in me a 'oh, well, there you have it then' sort of attitude? Noooo. It made me go 'Oooooh, really? Right then, let's find some Oscars with less than sterling character and prove this mad woman wrong'.

This did not prove to be so easy. There do seem to be a lot of good Oscars about the place and it initially proved quite hard to find truly evil Oscars, however, I have at last found conclusive and exacting evidence of at least one Evil Oscar. In addition, and probably infinitely more interesting, we have unbelievably well documented evidence of naughtiness and evil in bunny rabbits. How could an 'Oscar the Rabbit' be anything other than evil? Hmmm?

Now that I've found this evidence, I won't be able to stop. It is true. So, it seems it continues to be my perverse civic duty to seek out instances of not niceness in Oscar Land and post it here.

a smattering of not-so-nice oscars

submit your own evil oscar

Do you know of an Evil Oscar? Help the cause and submit your own Oscar.

woof

Look. Let's face it, life just isn't worth living without a bit of fun. Got none to hand? Then you should definitely find out more about the heroic, attractive and all round fun loving good dog that is Kommissar Rex.

a sure sign of madness

Wheeeeeeeee!! Oh dear, I seem to have used more than one exclamation mark. It's not so much that I'm completely bonkers with 2 exclamation marks, but it's certainly the right path. So, how many exclamation marks assure insanity? I'd say 5 or more, but let's face it, anything more than a judiciously placed singular exclamation mark is saying something worrying about your character. So. How do you know if you're an exclamation mark nutcase? Perhaps we need a scale?

exclamation madness scales

  1. em: Mostly okay, except when used excessively. Like now! Could be the sign of things to come.
  2. em: Starting down the slippery slope to loopyville. Watch them closely!! They may already be mad.
  3. em: Woah!!! This fellow is so far past the line marked "bibblebibblebibble" that you may as well give up now.
  4. em: Oh, dear. Quick!!!! Pass the straight jacket. There's nothing else for it.
  5. em: If this person isn't already wearing their underpants on their head, they soon will be. No hope. None at all!!!!!

credit where credit is due

Now, while exclamation madness is a generally agreed upon fact of life, I'd say that if it wasn't actually invented by one Mr Terry Pratchett, it was certainly given cult status from his literary works. Mind you, he might not like this claim, but I don't think he's the suing type. Wrong country really. What was I saying? Ah yes, an outstanding example of potty-as-a-polar-bear-on-speed exclamation misuse can be found in the novel "Maskerade":

"And all those exclamation marks again, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head." - Salzella

who is this pratchett fellow

Never heard of Terry Pratchett? Good heavens! (oops) What sort of a person are you? Do you live in a cave? Your best bet of becoming a normal human being again is to visit lspace.org and stop using those exclamation marks! (Argh. Sorry.)

"Lspace - good for your mind, occasionally a little scary." -- me